Understanding Why

My decision to join the IDF became a whole lot more clear after we were forced to articulate our thoughts and emotions in my first seminar this past weekend! On top of that we had to form an art piece from play-doh to represent our ideas. This is what I learned (Refer to photo at bottom):

This story revolves around myself. This is about a personal decision and individual journey within a much greater context - a 2000 year old struggle for the Jewish Nation's survival. I don't want to sit back and watch history unfold before my eyes; I want to be a part of it. I want to know I did something in my life to build the Jewish Nation. This story is my personal journey. I am the center of the story/conflict, just as is Jerusalem  in the metaphor of my story being similar to the Jewish struggle. The catalyst of personal growth and maturity (represented by the flower) is the IDF צה"ל. That is also my transition into Israel, the culture, and my Israeli Nationality. The flower in the photo represents myself: I will plant my roots in Israel and it will be up to external environmental factors to decide whether or not I will survive and stay there. The larger theme encompassing this whole story is Judaism, whether defined as a religion, nationality, or both. Regardless, the IDF guards a homeland for Jews around the world, ensuring the phrase "Never Again" remains true. That's the main reason for me joining the IDF.

My current inspiration:

My First Post!

This blog will attempt to record my thoughts, feelings, and actions for the next few crucial, deciding years of my life, that is if I continue to blog. This blog is mainly for myself to come back in many years and vividly remember this time in my life, and for friends and family to peek inside my experience.

I have decided to embark on a journey to find myself. 

The journey began a few months ago as a result of my decision to join the Israel Defense Force, and I have learned a ton about myself since. This upcoming August I will fly off to Israel to live on a kibbutz for three months and then join the IDF through the program Garin Tzabar. I will join my brothers and sisters in a millennium long fight to protect the Jews and their 63 year old homeland. But that's a while from now. Luckily I don't have to wait as long to meet the amazing boys and girls making the same brave leap as me. Come this Friday I will find myself in a hotel in SF meeting for the first time other passionately Zionist youth making Aliyah with me. I absolutely cannot wait for this weekend! I know a few kids in the same Garin as me, but for the most part I will be on my own. It's incredible to think that these kids will be my new family for the next three years, as we all struggle through the hardships and challenges of being in a foreign army. Although it is a new country, Israel is not exactly foreign. Many of us have spent time in Israel, have Israeli parents, and speak Hebrew. This is the country we feel at home. That is why we've all made the decision to uproot everything we've lived for the past 18 years and start a new life in a country of our brothers and sisters, the land we call home. I've never been more sure of a right decision in my life, especially something as drastic as this. I've never had more hopes, goals, and dreams than I currently hold and I've never felt as spiritually empowered or patriotic than I do now. For the past 3 years I've taken apart every possible aspect, benefit, and sacrifice of joining the army, and my heart, mind, and soul are all screaming yes!

If I've learned anything thus far, it's that you have to listen to yourself, not what others want you to do, even if it means disappointing some people. I learned in my Psychology class that dissatisfaction is due to a discrepancy between one's perceived self and one's actual self. Too often do we make ourselves out of what society tells us we should be - the perceived self -  and we bottle up what makes us happy - our actual self. Lucky for me I grew up with parents that fostered independence and leadership. So now that I'm old enough to live on my own, I'm making my own decisions that make me happy: I'm moving to Israel and joining the IDF.

My current inspiration: